ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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