Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize