I want to have your abortion
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
