Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
