Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Acid is not a monday night drug
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
