So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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