but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
