i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you would pick up someone in the library
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize