i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize