Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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