I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
