K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
