i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
