i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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