Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
