he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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