i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
