so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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