Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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