you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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