someone threw a dead crab at me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
