she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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