Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
