Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
