you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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