Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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