so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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