he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
