I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
