Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
