Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i believe in u and ur pee
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