I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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