I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
