He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Your cock deserves a montage
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
