I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I want her autograph on my taint
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
