first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
