I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
