Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
