I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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