nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We had sex on a dog bed..
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
