what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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