Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude i'm inner monologue high
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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