I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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