Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
