first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
