YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
