You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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