just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
