Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize