Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
