I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
