if you like me you must not know who I am
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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