I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
try to milk me bitch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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