It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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