Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
