I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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