Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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