is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize