Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my vag is so smooth its legendary
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
