He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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