Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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