I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
