im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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