Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
