So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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